Keeping Busy – Or At Least Trying To

You know how people keep saying, “Oh, just keep busy. Drown yourself in work and you’ll be so distracted, you’ll forget about him eventually!”

Please tell me that I’m not the only one who doesn’t believe in this? Does this actually work? Because it hasn’t been working for me at all.

Maybe I’m doing it wrong because I can be drowning in work and he’ll still be at the back of my mind like a niggling itch that is demanding to be scratched. And the only way to scratch it is by:

  1. Going on to his Facebook page (which I’m attempting, trying, desperately motivated to go cold turkey on) and spending 10 minutes on it, looking at every single clue that may tell me about what he’s been up to
  2. Going on Google and searching for ‘Why do Aquarius men suddenly disappear?’ posts as I prepare myself for a downward spiral (Have you guys SEEN the number of posts for this particular sign though?)
  3. Going on Google and searching for ‘How to be classy after a breakup’ posts
  4. Going on Google (notice a theme?) and searching for articles that talk about how I should be glad that he’s gone
  5. Going on YouTube and watching videos by Matthew Hussey because the way he talks about how women should appreciate themselves and their standards never fails to make me feel better (and I like his face).

Done With Love

Will You Ever Find ‘The One’?

For Any Woman Who’s Ever Had Her Heart Broken

Moving on isn’t a simple switch on – switch off process. Maybe it is for some people but it definitely isn’t for me. In fact, it’s extra hard because we used to work in the same office. So the pantry, the lifts, the corridors and even the washrooms (we used to flirt around before entering our respective washrooms) (it was weird but fun) would remind me of him.

It’s the slow process of trying to disassociate memories of him with the things that I keep seeing around me everyday that’s making it extra painful. There is no ripping band aid effect. I can’t toss my workstation or my office building into a box and then burn it at a bonfire surrounded by my girlfriends as I gaze longingly into the flame, thinking about how YES I WILL FIND LOVE AGAIN ONE DAY.

I mean, I could set my office building on fire but I don’t think being an arsonist is part of the recovery process.

So what does a girl do when she is constantly reminded of him? She pouts when no one is looking. She clutches her heart and whispers a silent, “Damn you!” to the sky (or the office ceiling tile) as though he’s able to hear her.

This article by Eric Charles did give me some reassurance that I may not be the only one suffering through this pain. Sure, he ghosted but come on. There’s no way he doesn’t miss me, right? Even if he doesn’t, can we just let me believe that he does and he’s hurting like hell too?


2 thoughts on “Keeping Busy – Or At Least Trying To

  1. I do the same.. Its been over 2 months and we still talk everyday BUT we arent together so he doesnt tell me everything like he use to because we are now “just friends”… Vine is my problem


    1. It’s been over 2 months for me too. It’s painful to know that he’s going about with his own life and exploring new things without me. Sometimes, I want to know what he’s doing. Other times, I just want to forget him. Being in contact with him, it makes things complicated sometimes, doesn’t it? Cause a part of you wants to hate him but a part of you just can’t because you know that he’s a good person and that’s why you fell for him in the first place.

      Vine = Video = PAIN!

      I had to stay away from Facebook for a while just so that I couldn’t stalk his page (since unfriending him is not an option I want to explore :/)

      Liked by 1 person

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