Aggressive Optimism

I was on (of all the websites a 31-year-old could visit) Tumblr and came across this post:

“I am a positive person but I get really tired of aggressive optimism. If someone’s sad, let them be sad. All emotions have purpose. Sadness isn’t destructive if not prolonged. Sadness isn’t unproductive, as it offers awareness. Telling someone to “cheer up” or “be happy” is so ineffective and patronizing. The last thing a sad person needs is for someone to judge their feelings as pointless and unappealing. Welcome sadness, just don’t let it consume you.”

It’s nice to finally have this put in words. There is so much truth behind this. And it’s worse if the person keeps telling you that you need to get over it or that you should be happier faster.

It was something I had begun to notice recently while I was going through my process of healing.

People that I thought were my closest friends would tell me to stop talking about him whenever I needed to vent. They would tell me that they wanted to change to a happier topic whenever I started sounding upset. They would say that he wasn’t worth it before I was even able to talk about him. I began to feel like my feelings were not validated and that I was not accepted as a person as long as I stayed sad. It was as if I would only be considered ‘fun to be around’ if I reverted back to the old me – the one I was before I met him.

If a person is sad, let the person BE sad, asking the person to be happier faster is selfish because the truth of the matter is, you don’t want to deal with the sad person because you’re unsure of what to do.


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