People have begun to suspect that something is different. Admittedly, perhaps I have not really been very secretive when it comes to talking about him. Little hints have been dropped here and there on Twitter and Tumblr. It’s not that I’m trying to play coy so that people will ask me. In fact, it’s the opposite.

I’m doing that because that’s all that people really need to know about what is going on. That I’m with someone…and that’s it.

Because I’ve learnt that not everyone will be happy with you. They might act like they are or that they want to listen to your issues but the reality is that they are more than happy to just revel in the fact that you are not happy with your situation. Try telling them how happy you are and you can see their faces scrunch up inwardly.

So I’ve made a vow to only let a few people in. These people are people that I trust. They are people that I know will have my best interests at heart. They are also people that I know trust me to do what is right without having to latch on to every single detail.

I’m still trying to figure this thing out. I know that I run the risk of jinxing this everytime I talk about how happy I am with his presence in my life. But I need to understand that anything can happen. I shouldn’t be afraid of the future because I know I will be able to handle it. Also, I need to understand that to participate in this friendship takes more effort than it does with a friendship that is in front of our own eyes. So why choose this friendship when it is difficult to maintain? Maybe it’ll be worth it. Maybe.

Right now, all I can do is pray.

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