A few nights ago, I was talking to my Someone (let’s just refer to him as my Someone from now on to make it easier and less gross, I hope?) when I accidentally fell asleep mid-way through the conversation.
Due to our timezone difference, we’ve had to opt for text messages and a lot of the conversations occur when I’m ready to turn in for bed. Yes, it does sound quite adorable when you think of the stereotypical girl-under-the-covers-texting stereotype like this one:
But what you’ll really get is:
And just waves and waves of intense guilt when you accidentally wake up at around 5 a.m. and realize that you’ve missed a bunch of his texts.
The worst is when you realize that he’d geared himself up for a nice long text session (otherwise known as Date Night) which left him feeling quite disappointed with the appearance of those double grey ticks.
We’ve done it before, where I’d gone to bed earlier and wake up later so that it’ll match his timezone but my blood pressure was going through the roof due to the lack of sleep and it was taking its toll on my health so we’ve had to let that go.
So I’m not sure. How do people do this? How do you juggle connections when your timezones are so far apart? Because if you really take into account not disturbing each other while they are sleeping or working, it doesn’t leave us with a lot of actual communication time, does it?
He’s been great at being patient with me and he allows me to disturb him while he’s at work. And I’m thankful that he’s always there when I need him, regardless of how busy he is at that moment. Knowing men, that’s as good as a guy saying he’s prioritizing you, right?
One of the lessons I learnt the second time around was the importance of not sharing too much about your personal life with your friends. Sounds contradictory, doesn’t it? If you can’t trust your own friends and their opinions, then who can you trust? They are the ones that know you best and they will be the ones who will be able to tell you what is right for you, uh, right?
Well, not necessarily.
Each human being is different. It is what makes being a part of the human race special. Although a person could have a majority of similarities, no two people are alike, no matter how long their friendship or relationship is with each other. Although a person may be the best point of reference for the longest time, sometimes, especially when it comes to relationships, advice from friends may either be the best or worst type of blessing. Or meddling. In some cases. When people can’t seem to stick their noses out of your business.
The reason why I had to express this is mostly due to the fact that I was bombarded with a slew of questions last week about my situation. Granted, when it is long distance with two people of different faiths, it invites a lot of curious questions. I honestly don’t mind questions. But what I do mind are comments that begin with, “He should,” or “Why isn’t he?”. Especially when my answer to those questions and comments will begin to sound like justifications.
The thing is, no one has the right to question the nature of your relationship when the parties involved have nothing to complain about. Every couple has their own way of handling their own relationship. Maybe some couples like to talk a lot and are extremely affectionate. Maybe some couples like to talk less and are somewhat less affectionate. What may work for one couple might not necessarily work for another. It is not what the public perceives as normal but whether the two individuals are having their needs met by each other.
I’m still trying to figure out the best way to handle the questions that I am not comfortable with. Personally, I understand when people feel that they need to know especially when on paper, it just seems like it should not and cannot work. However, when the innocent questions begin to turn accusatory, it is no surprise that most people will choose to simply not talk about their relationships instead.
So trust your gut. That feeling you have in your heart and in your belly that might go against what everyone says? Learn to trust that feeling and hold on to your convictions. Pay attention to what the universe is trying to tell you because once you do, you will learn to be at peace with your decisions and actions and you will realize that you really do not have anyone to answer to except yourself.
I promise I’ll try to blog more.
Oh, and in a weird twist of fate, I’m somehow still together with the guy who inspired this breakup blog.