I Wish It Were That Simple

After liking one of his Facebook posts, my first time reaching out after this whole fiasco happened, he broke things off with her 4 days later.

I know what he wants. I know what he’s expecting me to do.

And he thinks it’s that simple for us to fix things again.

The girl is not letting him go easily. Of course I’m monitoring her Facebook too. She still has her relationship status on prominent display both on Facebook and Instagram. He hid his relationship information but of course I’m wondering why he can’t simply just, with one click of a button, release the relationship status? If he has gone to the trouble of scrolling down his feed to delete every trace of her, except for the relationship update.

I won’t lie and say that I’m not relieved. I am. But not all of me. There are some parts of me that are still weary and still uncertain if I can trust him. I know that he’s looking for one more direct contact from me or, if he thinks he’s lucky, a text from me. I’m not considering it yet because I don’t want the same patters to happen all over again. If I do that, we won’t have the crucial post-cheating talk that we need to have. I can only have that if he reaches out first.

So do I think he’ll reach out first? I honestly don’t know. I don’t know if we’ll play this passive aggressive game on Facebook or if one of us will cave in. But as long as that girl still has that status on her profile and Facebook, I’m not taking things for granted and I’m not budging.

Friday Confession

We are still at the Facebook stalking game playing face. The best response is to not engage but I’m only human and I have close to zero resistance towards not engaging.

He’s online, I know, but he’s not posting. He’s doing what I did to him – the silent treatment. He’s trying to incite in me whatever emotions he felt when I gave him the silent treatment.

I accidentally posted something that indicated that I may want to reconcile. I didn’t realize that that was what the post meant until later on when a few friends mentioned it. Then I posted something about letting go. And today, I posted something that would have indicated that I am melancholic about us. Basically, I’d have been fucking with his brain this week.

It’s a stupid and childish game and I can’t help but indulge in it because I’m weak. We were passive aggressive in the first breakup so it’s no surprise that we’re here like this again.

And posting a song without a caption is a big indicator that it’s for the other person. So. Ed Sheeran’s Perfect may fuck with his mind.

Is he still with that girl? Yes, ¬†of course. So why even consider this? Why even think he’s spending his time doing this?

Because I know him too well and I know what he’s thinking.

That’s the danger about being too connected. You can read his movements and their intentions behind it.