I Can’t Be Friends With You

The irritating thing is, I am usually quite good with staying friends with my exs.

Except for one but that is because I messed up the breakup royally and I don’t think either of us can ever be cordial ever again. (I tried adding him on FB a few months ago but he didn’t respond so I guess someone still hasn’t gotten over it after, ah, 8 years)

But with all that’s happening, I don’t think it can ever be a possibility anymore.

And by the way the girl is setting it up, it looks like you guys are getting engaged soon so I’m not even going to touch that with a 10-foot-pole.

It hurts to see someone living the life that you wanted. But it makes no sense to fight it anymore. I wanted that chance to bond with your family but I guess I’ll never get it.

And to finally realize that you have never actually made space for me to be in your life permanently is killing me too.

I can’t even begin to think that you may still care for me because if you did, you would actually do and say things to make sure that I don’t leave before all this went to hell.

And now that everything has gone to hell, I can’t find the energy or strength to care anymore. I do miss you sometimes, and it hurts sometimes, but I cannot care anymore because I’m so tired of this mess. I am tired of taking care of you and I am tired of being able to anticipate what you want and giving it to you.

I have to say goodbye to you because if I don’t, I will lose my mind.

So no, we can’t be friends.

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