I Can’t Be Friends With You

The irritating thing is, I am usually quite good with staying friends with my exs.

Except for one but that is because I messed up the breakup royally and I don’t think either of us can ever be cordial ever again. (I tried adding him on FB a few months ago but he didn’t respond so I guess someone still hasn’t gotten over it after, ah, 8 years)

But with all that’s happening, I don’t think it can ever be a possibility anymore.

And by the way the girl is setting it up, it looks like you guys are getting engaged soon so I’m not even going to touch that with a 10-foot-pole.

It hurts to see someone living the life that you wanted. But it makes no sense to fight it anymore. I wanted that chance to bond with your family but I guess I’ll never get it.

And to finally realize that you have never actually made space for me to be in your life permanently is killing me too.

I can’t even begin to think that you may still care for me because if you did, you would actually do and say things to make sure that I don’t leave before all this went to hell.

And now that everything has gone to hell, I can’t find the energy or strength to care anymore. I do miss you sometimes, and it hurts sometimes, but I cannot care anymore because I’m so tired of this mess. I am tired of taking care of you and I am tired of being able to anticipate what you want and giving it to you.

I have to say goodbye to you because if I don’t, I will lose my mind.

So no, we can’t be friends.

Advertisements

You Don’t Know That I Know

You don’t know that I know just how confused you are about where your career is heading.

You don’t know that I know just how frustrated you are with life because you feel like you have to prove to people that you can make something out of yourself.

You don’t know that I know just how annoyed you are that things can’t seem to work out for you. But I was willing to go through the difficult times together with you.

You don’t know that I know just how to solve your issues little by little because that was what I was doing for you when we were together.

You don’t know that I know just how difficult things are for you now knowing that you no longer have the luxury of asking for my approval or my opinion on the decisions you want to make because you have always trusted my instincts.

You don’t know that I know that a part of you wants to do well because you think that when you succeed, I’m going to be proven wrong. Just like the first time we broke up.

You don’t know that I know that your new girlfriend doesn’t know how to do these things for you.

You don’t know that I know that you think everything came so easily for me. It didn’t.

You don’t know that I know that you think about me all the time.

You don’t know that I know all these things.

That’s the thing.

You don’t know that I know you. But slowly, you’re beginning to realize that I do. And that you don’t really know me at all.

Alphabets of a Heartbreak – J

John Mayer (Noun) -At least John Mayer was being honest about how difficult breakups are in this song.

Moving on and getting over
Are not the same, it seems to me
Cause you’ve been gone, I’m growing older
But I still can’t seem to get you off my mind
And I do believe I feel you all the time

Moving on and getting over
Are not the friends they used to be
It’s been so long since I got to hold you
But I still can’t seem to get you off my mind
And I do believe I feel you all the time, all the time

Tell me I can have the fact you’ve loved me to hold onto
Tell me I can keep the door cracked open, to let light through
For all my running, I can understand
I’m one text away from being back again
But I’m moving on and I’m getting over
I’m-a getting over, I’m getting over
I got to get over

Moving on and getting over
It’s been so long; it just goes to show you
That I still can’t seem to get you off my mind (get you off my mind)
And I sure would like to see you one more time

It’s taken me so long just to say “so long”
Maybe it’s all wrong, but I’m moving on
I’m gonna get a new girl
It’s something I can do, girl
To try to get me through, girl
Cause I’m moving on
I’m moving on
And I’m moving on
I’m moving on
And I’m moving on
Consider me as good as gone
Cause I’m moving on
I’m moving on
Moving on, baby
Moving on
Moving on